Friday, September 18, 2015

10 ten-minute pick-me-ups

Don’t feel like writing? Or even getting off the couch? Here are ten simple ways to make yourself feel better:
1.       Wash your face, comb your hair, brush your teeth.
2.       Grin for 30 seconds. (I know, I know, but it works. Something about endorphins.)
3.       Write a note to somebody, especially a thank-you note.
4.       Tackle a minor chore you’ve been putting off like putting away those books stacking up beside your bed. And while you’re at it,
5.       Make your bed. Changing the linens is even better. You’ll anticipate all day how nice it will feel when you finally slip between the sheets.
6.       Jog in place for 10 minutes. No equipment necessary. Or walk to the corner mailbox and mail that thank-you note. Take a trash bag with you and
7.       Collect trash on your way.
8.       Write a love note to your S.O and leave it in her sock drawer. While you’re there, straighten up her sock drawer. IOW,
9.       Do somebody else’s chore besides your own.
10.   Count your blessings. Use your fingers. And toes. Make a fresh list every time.

What do you do to make yourself feel better?

Monday, September 7, 2015

10 scenarios: “I don’t know you”

At Arby’s today a grandmother was wrangling three children when the five-year-old started pouring his drink on the floor. She looked at him and said, “I don’t even know you.”
Classic instances of “I don’t know you”—the Klingons turning their backs on Worf, Peter denying Christ, a mob boss banishing an underling in a third-rate gangster movie—leapt to mind, then other scenarios suggested themselves. Some are made up:

·         Husband to wife of twenty years when she cuts in line to get Stone Cold Steve Austin’s autograph.
·         Teen to friend shop-lifting Pepto Bismol, of all things.
·         Bride-to-be to maid-of-honor stuffing $20 bills in a male stripper’s G-string.
·         Nephew to uncle who refuses to stand up for the National Anthem at a Braves game.
·         Husband to wife who took pole-dancing lessons in secret.
·         Clan chief exiling a hunter who hoarded meat.
·         Cheating wife to herself in her car mirror in a motel parking lot.
·         Mother to daughter who brings home a “B” in AP Chemistry.
·         Wife to husband after he insults an airline clerk for no reason.
·         Cult member to the parents who’ve come to take him home.
Have you ever been on either end of “I don’t know you”? What fictional situations can you conjure?