At Arby’s today a grandmother was wrangling three children
when the five-year-old started pouring his drink on the floor. She looked at
him and said, “I don’t even know you.”
Classic instances of “I don’t know you”—the Klingons turning
their backs on Worf, Peter denying Christ, a mob boss banishing an underling in
a third-rate gangster movie—leapt to mind, then other scenarios suggested
themselves. Some are made up:
·
Husband to wife of twenty years when she cuts in
line to get Stone Cold Steve Austin’s autograph.
·
Teen to friend shop-lifting Pepto Bismol, of all
things.
·
Bride-to-be to maid-of-honor stuffing $20 bills
in a male stripper’s G-string.
·
Nephew to uncle who refuses to stand up for the
National Anthem at a Braves game.
·
Husband to wife who took pole-dancing lessons in
secret.
·
Clan chief exiling a hunter who hoarded meat.
·
Cheating wife to herself in her car mirror in a
motel parking lot.
·
Mother to daughter who brings home a “B” in AP
Chemistry.
·
Wife to husband after he insults an airline
clerk for no reason.
·
Cult member to the parents who’ve come to take
him home.
Have you ever been on either end of “I don’t know you”? What
fictional situations can you conjure?
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