At Arby’s today a grandmother was wrangling three children when the five-year-old started pouring his drink on the floor. She looked at him and said, “I don’t even know you.”Classic instances of “I don’t know you”—the Klingons turning their backs on Worf, Peter denying Christ, a mob boss banishing an underling in a third-rate gangster movie—leapt to mind, then other scenarios suggested themselves. Some are made up:
· Husband to wife of twenty years when she cuts in line to get Stone Cold Steve Austin’s autograph.
· Teen to friend shop-lifting Pepto Bismol, of all things.
· Bride-to-be to maid-of-honor stuffing $20 bills in a male stripper’s G-string.
· Nephew to uncle who refuses to stand up for the National Anthem at a Braves game.
· Husband to wife who took pole-dancing lessons in secret.
· Clan chief exiling a hunter who hoarded meat.
· Cheating wife to herself in her car mirror in a motel parking lot.
· Mother to daughter who brings home a “B” in AP Chemistry.
· Wife to husband after he insults an airline clerk for no reason.
· Cult member to the parents who’ve come to take him home.
Have you ever been on either end of “I don’t know you”? What fictional situations can you conjure?